Baby Bird’s Birth Part Four: How My Mama Tribe Helped
What is a “mama tribe”?
Shortly after Baby Bird #1 was born, a lovely young mom in a breastfeeding support group (the real life “Boob Group“) shyly approached me about forming a playgroup. We were almost all new moms, and thought it would be good for our 3-month-olds to get to together at the park and each other’s houses for baby playdates. Little did we know that it was really for us.
I remember one potluck lunch playdate at my house, early on, when I nervously asked if I should open a bottle of wine. Because what would these responsible mothers think of me if I suggested daytime drinking?? Needless to say we really bonded from that point on! At a certain point we dropped the pretense of our babies and went out to eat at fun restaurants, for roughly monthly nights out, or “babyless playdates” as I like to call them. We have an ongoing group message on Facebook that has morphed from organizing playdates to a very supportive place to share. There have been times when I was stressed to tears because I was pregnant and had a toddler. Calling my husband at work only frustrated him. Typical guy, he felt bad not being able to “solve” anything, which only made it worse. (“It’s not about the nail.”) But messaging “the mamas” made a world of difference.
My dear sweet friends seem to be on the same page as me. This does not mean that we all parent the same, but that we have a complete and unconditional acceptance of one another. We have individually had challenges, losses and setbacks, but mostly lots of fun. Oh yeah, our kids have fun, too.
In addition to our small group, I have found an extended mama tribe online through a few Facebook groups. Out of a 1,000+ local moms, someone else is sure to be up nursing at 3am and can answer a random question, of which I have many. Thank you village!
More on finding a “Mama tribe”:
Finding Your Mama Tribe: Mamas Need Other Mamas on The Badass Breastfeeder [A blogger also named Abby, from whom I borrowed the banner.]
Beth Woolsey on the Huffington Post: An Open Letter to New Mama Me.
Top 5 Qualities to Look for in a Mom Friend on The Joy of Caitlin.
A note from Mama Bird: This is the fourth post in a series on birth. I had an amazing experience and am now passionate about birth education and choices. I believe that all kinds of births are awe-inspiring miracles and life-changing experiences. I don’t believe that one kind of birth is necessarily better than any other. But I do believe that the current American medical system does not educate women and families on all the options that are available. Please check back for new installments in this ongoing series, which includes our birth story. Use the subscription box to the right if you would like an email notification when new posts are published.
THE BABY BIRDS BIRTH SERIES
Part One: Why I Pursued an Unmedicated, Intervention-Free Birth
Part Two: The Surprising Birth Story of Baby Bird #2
Part Three: The Birth of Baby Bird #2 from the Eyes of Our Doula
Part Four: How My Mama Tribe Helped My Pregnancy
Part Five: How I Used the Bar Method to Prepare for Birth